what to do...

with my life. lol. no seriously. after getting over the fact that i was no longer working, i really thought that i could just enjoy my time at home with my babies and hubs. at least for a little bit. now the hubs and i do plan on having more children. at least two more to be exact because we would love to have a big family. but i've long been in deep thought about what exactly it is that i am going to do with my life. and if in fact we do have more children i sure as hell can't be enjoying my time at home all damn day. i need to work to support those babies that we wanna have. but there is no way in hell that a silly office job will do that. here's the deal. i got my associate's degree for medical assisting in '06. yay right? when i graduated and was working for the OB/GYN that i was interning for, i clearly made a decision that that was not what i wanted to do for the rest of my life. it just wasn't me. it wasn't Lani. soo...i am still paying off my loans for that. basically, my $$$ going down the drain. talk about sad. just the thought of that gets my blood boiling. but there's nothing i can do about that now. i can't go back and return my degree and ask for a refund (but oh how i wish i could lol).

i know my tax returns should be coming soon but oh effin please, that will not last as long as i would like it to last. lol. i just do not know what to do with myself right now. don't get me wrong i really do enjoy spending time with my little ones and being a house wife but i'm a gemini and if yall know geminis, we will most likely want to wear the pants and bring home the bacon or at least be on the same level as our significant others. (well, from the geminis that i personally know, not exactly every gemini on the earth). As much as I want that big family, I know that I can't just be poppin out babies and stayin at home. Especially nowadays, children are so expensive, but such blessings to have in your life. I learn a lot from my children. I believe that true innocence lies in the hearts of children. They are very forgiving. And good lord do they say the darndest things I tell ya! lol.

Oh geez, I just rambled there now didn't I? Sorry for boring you all but thanks to anyone who actually read all that. It feels good to have an outlet like this to let off some steam or some thoughts that roam my head. ;)